


Two Fives Does Not Make Ten, it Stops the Apocalypse

by MistyPine



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eudora Patch Lives, Eventual Hugs, F/M, Five wants coffee, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I hate Leonard but he's fun to write, I stress wrote like 8k of this, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Luther Hargreeves Bashing, Luther drew the short straw in this story, Not Season/Series 02 Compliant, Parent Vanya Hargreeves, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Some Humor, Some Swearing, Sorry Not Sorry, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Vanya has a kid, alternate season/series 1, barely any relationships, except reginald, give ben some love, he gets no love, its very minor - Freeform, klaus is the best brother, no incest!, only like one hint at allison/luther, this ends how I wanted the show to end, vanya/original character for like five seconds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:35:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29973996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyPine/pseuds/MistyPine
Summary: Vanya Hargreeves' life is insane.She's the only 'normal' member of her superhero family, her father has just died, and now her brother is back after sixteen(forty-five?) years in the literal apocalypse. What else could possibly make her life crazier?Oh, right. She's a single-parent.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Number Six | Ben Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Original Child Character(s), Klaus Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves, The Hargreeves Family, Vanya Hargreeves & Everyone, Vanya Hargreeves & Original Child Character(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 41





	1. SUBTRACT ONE FIVE, ADD ANOTHER

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic on this site and my first fic with any plot at all. Parts of the dialogue in this fic are taken directly from the show and it follows the cannon timeline pretty well(with some changes). It is completely written already, edited by my sister, and I'll post either once or twice a week. If there are any errors, don't hesitate to tell me, it would be much appreciated. I loved writing this and I hope you enjoy it!

On the 12th hour of the first day of October 1989, forty-three women around the world gave birth. This was unusual only in the fact that none of these women had been pregnant when the day first began. Out of these forty-three children, Sir Reginald Hargreeves, world-renowned eccentric billionaire and adventurer, was able to adopt seven of them. 

These children were by no means ordinary. Much like the oddness of their births, the children were each an oddity themselves. They all had extraordinary powers, differing greatly from child to child. Hargreeves sought to teach the children to use their powers for the protection and greater good of the world as a team of heroic individuals. 

They would become known as the Umbrella Academy. 

...

“I want to time travel!” Number Five blurts out, ignoring his father’s annoyance over his interruption of their mealtime. 

“No,” Hargeeves replies immediately, “You are nowhere near ready.”

Five stands abruptly. “But I’ve been practicing my spatial jumps just like you said!”

He clenches his fists, moving through space with a soft blip and reappearing next to his father to prove his point. 

Hargreeves sighs as he reaches for his drink. “A spatial jump is trivial when compared to the unknowns of time-travel. One is like sliding along the ice, the other is akin to descending blindly into the depths of the freezing water and reappearing as an acorn.”

Five frowns in annoyance at the metaphor. “Well, I don’t get it.”

“Hence the reason you’re not ready.” 

On the other end of the table, Vanya, or Number Seven, shakes her head vehemently at Five. She doesn’t want him to get in trouble with their father or do something he regrets. 

Five catches her gaze but chooses to ignore her. 

“I’m not afraid,” he says.

“Fear isn’t the issue,” Reginald counters, speaking much more quickly now. “The effects it might have on your body or even on your mind are far too unpredictable. Now I forbid you to talk about this anymore!”

By the end of his rant, Reginald is clearly irritated by Five’s dragging out of this conversation. 

The simple solution would have Number Five sitting back in his seat at the table and continuing his meal, forgetting he had ever asked about time-traveling. 

This is, of course, not what happens.

Anger and annoyance clear on his face, Five turns and runs out of the mansion, not even looking back as his father calls his name and tells him to get back to the table. 

Vanya looks ready to run after her brother but stays seated along with her other siblings so as not to anger their father more than he already has been. She keeps eating her food even as a worrying dread fills the pit of her stomach.

Unbeknownst to them, this will be the last time any of the siblings see their brother for nearly seventeen years.

...

Outside the Academy, Five stomps down the street, anger at his father’s distrust in his abilities clear on his face. He clenches his fists and jumps using his powers. Around him, the people have switched from warmer, fall attire to colorful summer wear. 

“Not ready my ass,” Five laughs as he prepares for another jump.

His surroundings change again and Five is now being pelted with snow in a cold winter. A building beside him has changed as well, FOR LEASE signs clear in its windows. 

Five continues down the street, looking around, not quite believing he had actually pulled this off. 

He starts off running for his next jump and finally stops dead in his tracks when he’s completed it. 

The world around him is in ruins. The buildings he had just been walking past are demolished, the ones that are still standing have flames licking at their walls. Bricks and rubble cover the ground and the air is filled with ash. The sky has lost its cool blue tone and is now muddied with dark smoke. 

Looking around in fear and disbelief, Five turns and runs back the way he came in search of his home.

Only the front of the Academy is still standing, the door barely hanging onto its hinges and burned to leave just the metal frame. 

“Vanya?” Five yells out frantically. “Ben? Dad!?” 

Five tries to peer inside his home as he continues to call out to his family, but the building has been completely destroyed and anyone who might have been inside would have died in the collapse.

Getting no response, Five lets out a final yell in hopes that at least someone will respond. “Anyone!?!”

With no sign of anyone hearing him or anyone at all, Five desperately tries to use his powers to jump back to where he belongs. 

“Come on!” He shouts as his powers continue to fail him. 

He finally drops his hands to his sides and turns back to the front of the Academy, dropping to his knees. Silent tears drip down his face as he realizes that he’s stuck and has no way back home, that he didn’t even say goodbye to his family.

Five quickly works his way out of his stupor. He needs to survive until he can make it back to his family. 

Because he will make it back to his family. 

He has no idea that it will be forty-five years before he sees his family alive again.

...

Not much changed after Five disappeared. 

This is not to say that his siblings did not care about him, just that life kept going on and there was nothing they could do to stop it. 

The same can’t be said of when Ben, Number Six, died.

His death hit hard because at least there was hope that Five was still alive. 

After Ben’s death, most of the siblings soon realized they wanted more in their lives. They began to move on and move out, leaving only Luther, Number One, to go on missions for their father.

First Diego, Number Two, left. 

Then Allison, Number Three. 

And finally, Vanya and Klaus, Number Seven and Number Four.

Vanya, relieved at long last to be out from under her father’s controlling fist, pursues her passion for music with Klaus sticking to her side, if only to sleep on her couch. 

His drug habit had increased since they were younger and she would do anything to make sure he at least didn’t have to stay on the streets. 

Not to say it always worked but she did try.

Vanya went through college, eventually graduating with a BA in music and found herself a nice little apartment not too far from either the theatre an orchestra played in or from her childhood home. 

Her love of the violin hadn’t changed since her father had first let her play it. 

She started seeing a lot less of Klaus after moving, sometimes catching a glance of him in an alleyway but that was about it. She hadn’t seen her other two brothers or her sister since she moved out.

By this time, Vanya had a boyfriend.

They had gone to school together and he worked as a composer. Vanya had been working at a music shop and was trying to start music lessons for people who wanted to learn the violin. 

Money wasn’t something any of the Hargreeves children had to worry much about since their father, even the asshole that he was, wouldn’t ever let them sully his name by living on the streets, so Vanya always had enough for her rent, especially with her own job as well.

Only Klaus was the exception to this since he couldn’t save money if he tried because of his drug habit. Vanya always tried to get him something to eat when she saw him and always offered him a place to stay if he needed it. She hated seeing him on the streets. 

It had been a calm time for Vanya, nothing too exciting interrupting her life.

This would soon change very quickly.

...

Therapy had never been something Vanya had wanted to be a part of. 

She knew she had been taking pills ever since she was a kid for her anxiety, but she hadn’t realized how much her childhood messed her up.

Well, that’s not completely true. It was more that Vanya hadn’t wanted to acknowledge how much it had messed her up. 

Vanya sighs as she pulls the door of her therapist’s office closed, her session finally ending. Recently, Dr. Glassview had been trying to get her to let go of what happened to her in the past and move on. She had recommended that writing might help her. 

Honestly, Vanya wasn’t sure how that would help but it wouldn’t hurt to try.

She left the building, walking out into the cool spring air to catch a taxi. 

She had to head to an appointment with her doctor before she could head home. Vanya had been feeling off lately and wanted to make sure she wasn’t catching something before she was able to make it to her audition for the Icarus Theatre Orchestra. Her boyfriend, Carl, had told her she shouldn’t worry about it but she hadn’t had a physical in a while so she made an appointment anyway. 

Little did she know that this one visit to the doctor would flip her life upside down. 

...

“Miss Hargreeves? Are you alright?”

Vanya ran a hand down her face. 

_This can’t be true,_ She thinks. _How can this be true?_

“Are you positive the test is correct?” Vanya asks, staring into her lap.

“Yes, dear,” The nurse replies. “You are indeed pregnant.”

Vanya lets out a soft sigh, a tear escaping her eye. The nurse sees this and quickly grabs her a tissue. “We can talk about options if you don’t wa-”

“No,” Vanya interrupts quickly, a small smile making its way onto her face as she looks up. “I want to keep it.”

The nurse smiles, rubbing her arm in comfort and then gives her some papers to fill out before she can leave.

Vanya rubs her eyes to clear her blurry vision, quickly working through the questionnaires so she could tell Carl the news.

She and Carl had never discussed having children before so this really was a surprise for her. 

Vanya hadn’t really thought about being a parent before. Because of her own childhood, she felt like she wouldn’t be able to provide a kid with a good childhood, since she never had one. But now, thinking about the baby growing inside her, there’s nothing she wouldn’t do for them. 

Passing the sheets over to the nurse’s station, Vanya leaves the building and quickly makes her way back to her apartment.

Vanya contemplates calling Carl before she arrives home, even pulling her phone out at one point, but decides against it. 

This is something they need to talk about in person.

...

The talk does not go as she expected. 

This should hardly surprise her. Nothing in her life goes as expected. 

Vanya had arrived at the apartment to a nice spaghetti dinner that Carl had prepared for them. It was a sweet gesture since he didn’t often cook. 

He kissed her on the cheek and asked her how her day had been. She said it had been good, he said the same about his own.

She could tell he had something on his mind and he could tell she had something weighing on her as well. 

“I have something to tell you,” Vanya says.

Carl looks up from the pasta he’s serving onto his plate. “I have something to say as well,” Carl replies. “I think I should go first, too.”

Carl isn’t meeting her eye as he serves her as well.

“What’s wrong?” Vanya is worried now. 

“I think we should break up,” Carl mumbles as he stuffs some pasta in his mouth.

Vanya stares at him. “What?” She falters.

“I think we should break up,” he repeats, louder this time. “I just don’t think we’re meant for each other.”

Vanya feels herself gaping at him but she can’t help it.

“I’m pregnant!” She blurts out. 

Carl jerks his head up. “What?!” He exclaims. “Since when?”

“I just found out today.”

He sighs and puts his head in his hands, rubbing his face before looking at her again. “This doesn’t change what I said.”

Vanya visibly crumples.

“I never wanted kids anyway,” Carl adds, as if to provide justification. “I’m guessing you’re keeping it, right?”

Vanya nods, not daring to say a word lest it come out a sob. 

“Don’t bother putting me down as the father,” he says, standing up from the table. “I’ll make sure all my stuff is out of here by tomorrow night.”

After saying this, Carl abruptly ends their conversation by grabbing his coat and leaving, the door slamming loudly behind him.

He didn’t even finish his food.

Vanya clears the table on autopilot, trying not to focus too hard on the fact that her boyfriend just left her. If she does, she knows she’ll break down in tears. Best leave that until the food is put away. 

It isn’t until after putting the remaining spaghetti in the fridge and after a hot shower that she lets out a sob. 

And at the sight of a mug no less.

He got it for her as a graduation present. 

It says Music Queen on it.

It’s an odd thing to cry over, but she really loves that mug and she really loved Carl.

She really thought he had loved her too.

Vanya sinks down to the kitchen floor, clutching the mug to her chest as she let out heart-wrenching sob after heart-wrenching sob.

A loud knocking at her door pulls Vanya out of her hole of pain. 

Vanya glances out the window as she wipes the tears from her cheeks and tries to steady her breathing, forcing down her remaining sobs for the moment. 

It’s dark out now, although she isn’t sure how late it is. Even so, it’s odd for her to have anyone knocking at her door after dark unless it’s Carl and she kinda doubts it’s him. 

Vanya pulls herself off the floor, sets the mug down, and heads over to the door. The knocking only stops when she pulls open the door to see who is there.

“Klaus?” 

Standing in the hall is indeed her brother Klaus, the Number Four of their family, who she did not expect to see at all.

“Hey, Vanya. Long time no see!” Klaus greets, a big smile on his face. “Do ya mind if I crash here, Ben won’t get off my back about sleeping somewhere safe.”

Vanya nods, motioning him into the apartment, not even registering the fact that he said Ben told him to come to her. It’s not the most outrageous thing she’s heard him say, he can see ghosts after all. What’s stopping him from seeing Ben?

After closing the door, Vanya notices Klaus’ gaze on her face and immediately scrubs at her eyes in an attempt to hide their puffiness.

Klaus grabs her wrists to stop. “What happened? Are you okay? Why were you crying?” 

He carefully moves them to sit on the couch before letting go of her wrists. 

Vanya smiles sadly at him before speaking. 

“Bad breakup.”

Klaus immediately pulls her into a hug. “I’ll break his kneecaps for you,” he whispers.

Vanya huffs out a laugh at this. “No, no don’t. I just don’t want to have to think about him anymore,”

“What happened?”

Vanya lets out a long sigh before recounting the events of the evening. Klaus is hooked on her every word like it’s a dramatic reading, but she knows he means well. When she gets to the part where she told Carl about her pregnancy Klaus interrupts her with a quiet gasp. 

“You’re pregnant?”

“Yeah,” Vanya nods. “Just found out about it today, too.”

Klaus puts both his hand over his mouth, letting out a laugh of glee. “Oh my god! That’s terrific! Not the whole breakup thing, Ben! That guy is an asshole! But you’re gonna be a mom!”

Vanya smiles a real smile when he pulls her into another hug. 

The two siblings spend the rest of the night talking about Vanya’s horrible day until they drift off to sleep, leaning on each other. 

Ben smiles at his sister and brother, happy that they have one another for comfort.

...

It’s late in the morning by the time Vanya manages to force her eyes open. Next to her Klaus, sprawled across the rest of the couch, is still sleeping. She carefully removes herself from beside him and goes to make a cup of tea.

She doesn’t have work today, only a therapy appointment, so she’s in no rush. 

While the kettle is boiling, Vanya changes into some clean clothes and pulls her pill bottle out of her pocket. The nurse had recommended she try not to take her anxiety pills, or at least not that often during her pregnancy just to lower any risks that it might involve. Vanya was told to talk to her therapist about it as well. 

It was kinda the perfect luck that she had one today. 

The kettle whistles causing Klaus to wake with a start and fall of the couch, which Vanya hears as she enters the kitchen.

“You okay?” She calls over to Klaus.

Klaus groans. “Yeah, just peachy. This nice hardwood floor cushioned my fall,” he says as he stands up, rubbing his back.

Vanya smiles at his comment as she pours the boiling water into two mugs, neither of which are ones Carl got her. She places them on the table and puts some bread in the toaster as Klaus sits at the table, stirring one of the mugs of tea with a spoon.

“I take it you’re feeling better,” Klaus yawns, taking a sip of the tea after a minute.

“Yeah, I guess I am.” Vanya hadn’t even realized how much talking about her situation with Carl had helped relieve the pain of it. It still hurt like hell, it had only happened last night after all, but she didn’t feel like her grief was controlling her. 

“That’s good, I didn’t want to catch your sorrow, dear sister,” Klaus replies with a smile.

Vanya responds in kind, spreading jam on a piece of toast for Klaus and peanut butter on one for her. She sets Klaus’ in front of him, telling him to eat when he complains, and sits down next to him.

“I have to go to my therapist in a little while,” Vanya starts, sipping her own tea. “and Carl’s gonna come by at some point to collect all his stuff. Are you gonna stay here for a while?”

Klaus sighs and puts down his piece of toast, chewing thoughtfully. “If you’ll have me, I’ll stay but I don’t know for how long,” he responds. “You know me, always on the move, can’t stay in one place too long, gets boring, ya know?”

Vanya nods, telling him that it’s fine, just not to kill Carl if he’s here when her ex-boyfriend comes around. 

“No promises,” he grins. “I can’t just let the man who broke my dear sister’s heart get away unscathed. ‘Cause I know you’d never yell at him, so one of us has to.”

“Just don’t be too hard on him, alright?” Vanya insists. “I don’t want him calling the cops on you or something.”

Klaus stuffs the rest of his toast into his mouth before making a Scout’s honor sign with his right hand and giggling. “I’ll make sure to hide the body if I have to Miss Hargreeves.”

Shaking her head in exasperation, Vanya continues to eat her breakfast as Klaus flops back onto her couch. 

After a few minutes, Vanya goes out and grabs her newspaper from her mailbox, glancing over the headline in disinterest as she returns to the apartment.

Nothing notable there.

Glancing at the clock on her microwave, Vanya decides that she should head over to her therapist about now. She grabs her jacket and keys and makes sure her wallet is in her pocket before telling Klaus she’s leaving out. He makes a small noise of affirmation before she walks out of her apartment.

...

Vanya lets out a tired sigh as she exits her therapist’s building. Her appointment had gone fine, but she was particularly exhausted after this session.

Dr. Glassview had given her a lot of congratulations over her pregnancy, which Vanya imagined she would have to get used to pretty soon if that’s how everyone would react to hearing the news. 

The doctor had agreed that Vanya should try to limit herself when it came to taking her pills but shouldn’t be afraid to take one if she needed to. It was just as important for Vanya to stay healthy as well as her baby.

She had also been happy to hear that Vanya was realizing how important getting an issue out from inside her is, whether it be through talking or writing, which she still thinks Vanya should try. 

They talked somewhat about Vanya and her breakup with Carl, but Vanya didn’t want to dwell on it too much. She had more important things to worry about than a man who had already decided he didn’t want her in his life.

Vanya decided to walk back to her apartment rather than get a taxi. The weather is nice today, the sun high in the sky, and not a cloud in sight. The sidewalk isn’t crowded, but there is a decent amount of people walking around in the cool spring afternoon.

As she passes by the stores and restaurants, one of the shop windows catches her eye in particular. 

Two issues of the Umbrella Academy comic are sitting inside the shop, above them is a red typewriter.

If that isn’t a sign then Vanya is making it one. 

She goes into the shop and asks to buy the item.

Looks like Vanya’s going to be writing a book.

...

On the 12th hour of the first day of October 2012, one Vanya Hargreeves gave birth to her first child. The time of this child’s birth could be considered a coincidence, and is by Vanya herself at this point, but when is anything really a coincidence when concerning the Hargreeves. 

To say that Vanya was expecting to have her child on this specific date would be an overstatement. She had actually expected to have him the following week, as predicted, but the little one decided to come early. 

Vanya had been at her apartment, typing away at her autobiography late into the night, her brother Klaus asleep on her couch, when her water broke. And when she woke her brother up, all hell had broken loose. 

Who knew Klaus would be even more anxious than Vanya, who was to one who was actually pregnant.

Once he’d calmed down a bit, Klaus managed to get them a cab to the hospital and it was smooth sailing from there. 

Vanya was lucky, with very little complication in her child’s arrival. She might have broken a couple of Klaus’ fingers while pushing out the little devil, but he would have done it all over again for his dear sister. 

Ben was, of course, in the room as well, although only Klaus could hear his quiet comfort and reassurance for their sister. 

Even if she couldn’t have the kid’s father here didn’t mean she had to be alone. 

After what felt like forever, the baby finally popped out, their cries spilling through the room.

After a few minutes and one umbilical cord cut later, Vanya is holding her newborn son in her arms, her two brothers, one ghostly, the other completely alive, looking at him from over her shoulders. She had chosen not to know the sex of her child before their birth, not wanting to sway her name choice in any way, but seeing his big blue eyes, that gaze so utterly familiar, there was only one name on her mind.

“Miss Hargreeves?” One of the nurses asks. “Have you thought of a name?”

“Yeah,” Vanya nods. “Five. Five Hargreeves.”


	2. ONE FIVE TOO MANY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay, sorry,” Fi mumbles as he takes a bite of his sandwich. “I just don’t want you to find out he’s a serial killer or something. I like you alive.”
> 
> Vanya puts her hand over her heart in mock pain as she sits next to him. “Oh is that all? Nothing about me being hurt emotionally?”
> 
> Making a face of disgust, Fi shakes his head. “No way, that’s adult stuff. Not my problem.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any scenes that are skipped in this fic are pretty much the same as the show. This chapter was going to be longer but I realized I messed up the order of scenes! Vanya’s kid Five’s nickname is Fi, which he is mostly called throughout the entire fic, is pronounced like the Fi in Wi-Fi or like the word ‘by’ with an f instead of the b. I hope you enjoy!

“You think it’s kinda weird, don’t you? Wanting to learn the violin so late in life?” 

Vanya looks up from putting her violin down. 

“No, no. If you love music then this is where you should be,” she says to her newest student, Leonard. “The age shouldn’t really matter.”

Leonard huffs out a quiet laugh. “Sounds more like you’re describing my dad than me, to be honest. He was the music lover. I thought since he passed away I might be able to finally understand something about him, we had a bit of a complicated relationship.”

“I think it’s great that you want to understand him even if he isn’t here to see it.”

“Sorry for getting so heavy on you,” he says, running his hand through his hair. “Family, right? It’s never easy.”

“Yeah, that’s for sure.”

Leonard grabs his coat from the back of the couch as he heads towards the door, Vanya a few paces behind him.

“Well thanks,” he adds, shrugging the coat on and turning towards the door. “I guess I’ll see you next week?”

Vanya nods her head in affirmation. 

Before opening the door, Leonard turns back around with a hesitant look on his face. “I, ah, I’m a woodworker and I have a shop over in Bricktown. You should come by sometime and, um, ya know, check it out.”

Vanya hesitates for a second, he is her student after all. “This week I’m sort of busy.”

He waves her off, immediately saying it’s fine and not to worry about it. “Anyway, next week,” he says, finally opening the door and seeing himself out.

Vanya lets out a small sigh as she listens to his footsteps soften as he walks down the hallway.

“Well, that was awkward.”

“That’s one word for it,” Vanya replies, turning to look at her now six-year-old son who just entered the room. “How’s your math work coming along?”

Five, or Fi as everyone usually calls him, looks at his mother with the most exasperated look a six-year-old can make. “It’s not like it was hard, I finished it less than fifteen minutes into your lessons.”

“You’re already doing stuff way above your age range, maybe cool it with the ‘it wasn’t hard’. Not all of us can be a genius like you,” Vanya says as she enters the kitchen and starts rooting through the cabinets. “We’re out of marshmallows, so peanut butter and jelly?”

“I guess,” Fi grumbles as he sits at the table. “That Leornard guy is weird.”

Vanya pauses her work on the sandwich to shoot a look at her son. “Haven’t I told you not to eavesdrop on my lessons? And why would you even say he’s weird?” She asks before going back to the sandwich.

Fi shrugs at the eavesdropping comment before replying. “Anyone who learns the violin at thirty is weird. Also, he invited you to his woodworking shop, sounds kinda sketchy to me.”

“Or maybe,” Vanya starts. “He’s just a nice guy who wants to make a friend.”

“But he’s your student.”

“Drop it Fi.” Vanya punctuates her sentence by placing the sandwich on the table. 

“Okay, sorry,” Fi mumbles as he takes a bite of his sandwich. “I just don’t want you to find out he’s a serial killer or something. I like you alive.”

Vanya puts her hand over her heart in mock pain as she sits next to him. “Oh is that all? Nothing about me being hurt emotionally?”

Making a face of disgust, Fi shakes his head. “No way, that’s adult stuff. Not my problem.”

As Vanya laughs at Fi’s comment there is a rapping at the door. 

“That must be Charlie,” she muses. “She’s a bit early.”

Fi looks up sharply at Vanya. “Why’s she here? You didn’t say you had to go anywhere.”

“Last minute change in rehearsal schedule,” Vanya sighs as she goes to answer the door. “I can’t exactly bring you with me.”

“I don’t need a babysitter.”

“You’re six, Fi, I’m not leaving you home alone,” Vanya stage-whispers as she opens the door. “Hey, Charlie. Thanks for coming on such short notice.”

Charlie smiles as she enters the apartment. “Don’t worry about it Vanya, Five’s a charm to be around.” Entering the kitchen, she leans towards Fi, whispering, “Plus I’m getting paid.”

Fi tries to hold in a laugh at her comment so as to keep up his front of dissatisfaction. 

It doesn’t work.

“There’s that smile!” Charlie cheers, ruffling Fi’s hair. He pushes her hand off immediately, a cute little scowl on his face as he attempts to straighten his mussed hair.

Vanya, having already grabbed her violin and jacket, pulls Fi into a hug. “Behave, okay?”

Fi nods, returning the hug as she places a kiss on the top of his head. 

“I’ll be back around eight. There are leftovers in the fridge.” Vanya notes as she releases Fi and heads to the door.

Charlie nods and waves her off. “Don’t worry about us, you’ll make yourself late.”

Vanya waves one last goodbye to Fi as she closes the door.

...

To say that Vanya expected to find out her father had died today would be an immense overstatement. And from a news broadcast, no less. 

Sure he was an asshole and a terrible father, to her especially, but she would’ve liked a call or something, not a report on the news she saw on her way home from orchestra rehearsal. 

Little does Vanya know that the majority of her siblings found out the same way she did. 

Diego found out on a job.

Klaus in an ambulance.

None of them got a call first either. Talk about bad communication.

By the time Vanya arrived back to her apartment, it was already half-past eight. After placing her violin down and shrugging off her jacket, she woke Charlie who had fallen asleep reading on the couch, and bid farewell to the nanny. 

A gentle beeping noise caught Vanya’s attention. Realizing it’s her answering machine, she plays the message. 

_Hello Miss Vanya. If you haven’t heard already, your father has sadly passed away. I’m calling to tell you the date of the family memorial of his death will be held on the 24th of this month sometime after one o’clock, if you would like to join. I would be happy if you’d be able to attend, along with your other siblings._

The message ends with a beep, cutting Pogo off. 

Vanya sighs after a moment. A message one day before was kind of short notice. 

Vanya rubbed a hand over her eyes deciding she should probably attend. He was her father, bad or not, and she knew all her siblings would be there. They wouldn’t take kindly to her not attending.

Then again, they might not take her being there too kindly either if their reactions to her book had been any indication. 

She shakes her head. She was going. He was her father too. 

Vanya flips the light in the main room off and gently pushes the door to Fi’s room open as she passes, gazing inside. The light from outside casts a gentle glow across the room as he sleeps, not a worry on his face.

Vanya opts to wait to tell Fi about his grandfather’s death until the morning, knowing that if she woke him up now he probably wouldn’t go back to sleep.

It wasn’t as if he had ever met the man. Reginald Hargeeves never had liked children despite adopting Vanya and her six siblings.

Walking quietly over to the six-year-old’s bed, Vanya presses a quick kiss to his cheek before closing the door, leaving him to sleep.

...

Whoever said children react badly to loved one’s deaths clearly had never met Vanya’s son. That conversation, however, went about as well as Vanya expected.

Which was, of course, extremely well with no tears at all.

“So your grandfather died the other day.”

Fi looks up briefly from the book he’s reading to ask, “Oh, are we going to his funeral?” before going back to the text.

Vanya shakes her head in slight exasperation. “Memorial, but yes. I expected at least a little sadness, Fi.”

“It’s not like I’ve met him. Plus you always say he was a bad parent, aren’t you happy he’s dead?” Fi says whilst shrugging.

Putting her head in her hands, Vanya lets out a long sigh. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

I guess the children they’re referring to probably have emotions, unlike her little psycho. 

Said child is currently looking very happily out the window of the taxi they’re taking to Hargeeves mansion and very excited to meet his aunt and uncles.

You know, at a funeral. Memorial. Whatever.

Never expect a normal reaction from a Hargreeves child.

As the taxi comes to a stop outside the mansion, Vanya wrings her hands together in worry before stepping out of the vehicle, Fi at her heels.

Before entering the house, Vanya puts her hands on Fi’s shoulders and kneels down to meet his gaze.

“Remember,” Vanya starts. “This is a memorial. Everyone in there is probably going to be quite sad, so be respectful.”

Fi nods. “I know. Just because I’m happy to see them doesn’t mean it’s a happy occasion.”

Vanya smiles. “That’s my kid,” she says, planting a light kiss on his forehead before standing and opening the door to the mansion. 

As they enter the building a wave of nostalgia washes over Vanya. 

The whole place still looks just like the day she left, and every other day of her childhood. 

Walking further into the foyer Vanya glances into the sitting room, seeing her mom sitting by the fire with the portrait of her brother Five above the fireplace. Vanya calls out to her but doesn’t get a response.

Beside her, Fi asks, “Is that Uncle Five?” as he notices the portrait himself.

Before Vanya can respond, Allison, or Number Three, is coming down the stairs.

“Vanya,” she says in surprise. “You’re actually here.”

“Hey Allison,” Vanya replies softly as her sister wraps her in a light hug.

As Allison lets go, Vanya hears Diego before she sees him walking across to the stairs.

“What’s she doing here?” He demands before addressing her directly. “After what you did, you don’t belong here.”

Beside Vanya, Fi sticks his tongue out at Diego’s back, gripping her hand tightly. 

Allison sighs lightly. “You’re seriously going to this today?”

Diego ignores her as he stomps up the stairs. 

“Way to dress for the occasion by the way!” Allison chastises, referring to the knife holsters Diego has strapped to his chest and waist. 

Before disappearing upstairs, they hear him say, “At least I’m wearing black.”

Allison makes a sound in annoyance before saying. “Well, I’m glad you’re here Vanya, even if he isn’t.” She noticeably looks to Fi, who is still planted at Vanya’s side, holding her hand.

“This must be little Five I’ve heard about,” Allison smiles, squatting down slightly to meet his height. “I’m your Aunt Allison, though I’m guessing you probably already know that.”

Fi nods before saying. “It’s nice to meet you and I prefer to be called Fi.”

“Fi it is then,” Allison states. “Too bad your Uncle Diego is being such a jerk right now otherwise I’d say he’d be happy to say hi to you.”

“Why’s he so angry at mom anyway?” Fi questions with a scowl. 

“It’s adult stuff, baby,” Vanya soothes, pulling her hand out of his grip to run it through his hair. “He’s just mad about some things I said in my book so don’t worry about it.”

Allison has a sad smile on her face as she looks at Vanya's interaction with her son. She misses her daughter so much. “Well,” she says, breaking the silence. “I am going to go look for Luther, I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”

Vanya nods in acknowledgment and Allison turns to go back up the stairs, heading in the direction of their father’s office.

“She’s really pretty,” Is the first thing Fi says after Allison’s left. 

“Yeah,” Vanya responds, leading Fi into the sitting room. “She is, isn’t she.”

They walk over to the fireplace Grace is sitting by, Vanya gently putting her hand on her shoulder. 

“Mom,” she asks. “You okay?”

Grace looks up from the fire. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Oh, who’s this?” She inquires when her gaze catches on Fi.

“I’m Five,” Fi says gesturing towards himself. “But not your son Five, I prefer Fi and that’s my mom.” He points at Vanya as he says this.

A big smile makes its way onto Grace’s face as Fi speaks. “Well, it’s wonderful to meet you, I was just thinking that everyone might want something to eat, do you want to come help prepare something?”

Fi beams up at Vanya. “Can I?”

Vanya huffs out a quiet laugh and ruffles his hair. “Yeah, that’s fine. Just stay with Grace and don’t get lost okay.”

“Okay!” He chirps as he tries to fix his hair, following Grace out of the room.

Vanya shakes her head, a small smile on her face. 

_Kids really don’t understand funerals, do they?_ She thinks. _Well, it’s better for him to be happy than to cry all day, he’d be miserable._

Fi definitely hated crying. Although, most people don’t enjoy crying.

Vanya hums slightly under her breath as she runs her finger over the covers of the books on one of the shelves in the room. Up a few shelves, she notices the familiar spine of her own book staring out at her. Vanya pulls the book from its place and opens the front cover, seeing the inscription written inside.

_Dad, I figured why not? V._

As she closes the book, Vanya hears a voice from behind her.

“Welcome home Miss Vanya.”

She turns, still holding the book, to see that Pogo, the Hargreeves monkey butler, has entered the room. Walking over to him, Vanya immediately gives him a big hug.

“So very good to see you,” Pogo says as they separate. He then notices the book in her hand. “Ah, your autobiography.”

“Did he ever read it?” Vanya asks, referring to her father.

Shaking his head, Pogo replies, “I don’t believe so, no.”

Vanya shrugs one of her shoulders slightly, the revelation not too surprising, before glancing up at the portrait of her long-lost brother. “How long’s it been since he disappeared now?”

Pogo follows her gaze. “Sixteen years, four months, and fourteen days. Your father had me keep track.”

Vanya turns back to Pogo, a melancholy look on her face. “You want to know something stupid,” she starts. “I always used to leave the lights on for him. I was afraid that he’d come back, it would be late and dark and he wouldn’t be able to find us so he’d leave again.”

She sighs, looking up to his portrait again. “I’d make a little snack for him every night, make sure all the lights were on.”

Pogo huffs out a quiet little laugh. “Yes, I think I stepped in half those peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches.”

“I still believe he’ll come back, you know?” Vanya adds. 

“Your father never gave up hope either.”

...

Seems they were right not too.

“Does anyone else see little Number Five?” Klaus asks, gesturing to their very alive and still thirteen-year-old brother who had just come through a temporal anomaly in the courtyard. 

Their brother stands a bit awkwardly and glances up at the five siblings before looking down at himself.

“Ah, shit.” 

Certainly not the first thing you’d expect to hear your long-lost brother say.

Before anyone can get a word in, Five is already heading into the house and towards the kitchen. Entering, the siblings crowd around one end of the table while Five sets a cutting board down on the other end. 

“What’s the date?” He asks, grabbing the bread from a shelf to his right. “The exact date.”

Vanya responds first. “March 24th.”

Five nods as he takes two slices of bread out of the bag. “Good.” 

Luther makes a sound in exasperation. “Are we going to talk about what just happened?” 

When Five elects not to respond to the question, Luther stands in a sort of act of intimidation.

“Five, it’s been seventeen years!”

Five, clearly not intimidated at all by Luther’s tall stature, stands right in front of him, looks him in the eye, and says, “It’s been a _lot_ longer than that,” before using his spatial jump to get to a shelf behind them, grabbing a bag of marshmallows. 

Luther shudders slightly. “Haven’t missed that,” he murmurs in reference to Five’s teleportation ability. 

“Where’d you go?” Diego finally asks. 

Five jumps back to his spot by the table after grabbing the marshmallows, responding as he does. “The future. And, by the way, it’s shit.”

Klaus raises his hand saying, “Called it!”

Five sighs as he goes over to the fridge. “Should’ve listened to the old man,” he chides, grabbing the peanut butter from inside. “Jumping through space is one thing, jumping through time is a whole ‘nother toss of the dice.”

Finally glancing up from his sandwich preparation, Five says, “nice dress,” to Klaus, who’s wearing an old skirt he stole from Allison.

“Oh, danke! At least someone appreciates it,” he smiles and glares at one of the empty chairs. 

Shaking her head, Vanya pulls them back on topic. “Wait, then how’d you get back?”

“In the end,” he starts, spreading peanut butter on his bread. “I had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists across every possible instance of time.”

As he’s talking, the siblings’ faces all go through different states of confusion. Clearly, none of them understood what Five had just said.

“That makes no sense,” Diego remakes with a baffled shake of the head.

“It would if you were smarter.”

Diego snaps forward at that comment, ready to deck his brother, only to be stopped by Luther.

“How long were you there, exactly?” Luther questions, sending a glare Diego’s way to get him to settle down.

“Oh, you know, give or take about uhh,” Five ponders for a moment before responding. “Forty-five years.”

Everyone is now looking at Five in bewilderment, and wouldn’t you too? It seems completely absurd to them but they know their brother is being serious. 

“So what,” Luther starts, shock clear on his face. “You’re fifty-eight?”

“Sure, if that’s what you want to take out of that,” Five responds sarcastically. “But no, my consciousness is fifty-eight. Apparently, my body is now thirteen again.”

He finishes making his sandwich with a sigh and turns away from them. “Dolores kept saying the equations were off,” he huffs out a quiet laugh. “I’m sure she’s laughing now.” He punctuates his sentence with a bite of his sandwich. 

“Dolores?” Vanya asks, looking at Five for clarification.

He, of course, doesn’t respond. Instead, he picks up the newspaper and says, “Guess I missed the funeral,” referring to the headline about their father’s death.

“How’d you know about that?” Luther responds in surprise.

Five looks at him like he can’t believe Luther just asked that. “What part of the future do you not understand.” He shakes his head and looks back at the article. “Heart failure, huh.”

Diego responds with a “yeah” at the same time Luther responds with a “no”. Because of course Luther thought their father was murdered. He even inferred he suspected one of them. Kind of a dick move, man.

Five nods at the interaction. “Glad to see nothing’s changed,” he says and starts leaving the room.

Allison, finally able to get a word out of her mouth, huffs in exasperation. “So that’s it? That’s all you have to say?”

“What else is there to say? People die, that's just the Circle of Life.”

The siblings watch him go in varying degrees of annoyance.

“Well,” Luther sighs. “That was interesting.”

“At least we know he hasn’t changed,” Klaus says. “He’s the same vague little asshole he was before.” 

...

After the somewhat disaster of their first meeting with their newly returned brother, Vanya finds Five in the sitting room, now wearing his old Umbrella Academy uniform, looking up at his portrait.

“Nice to know dad didn’t forget me,” he says, turning as she stops near him. “Read your book by the way. Found it in a library that was still standing.” As he’s talking, Five paces a bit, looking around the room. “Thought it was pretty good, all things considered.”

“Definitely ballsy,” he adds. “Giving up all those family secrets, sure that went over well.”

“They hate me,” Vanya responds quietly.

“There are worse things that can happen.”

“Like what happened to Ben?”

Five looks back at her. “Was it bad?” He asks softly.

Vanya nods, sadness clear on her face.

A gentle silence comes between the two. Five continues to walk around the room, glancing at the bookshelves in mild interest.

“I saw you named your kid after me,” Five declares after a moment. “Didn’t see that one coming.”

“You want to meet him?” Vanya asks, a small smile working its way onto her face.

Five looks over at her from across the room. “Is he here?”

Vanya walks over to the archway leading to the foyer. “Yeah, he’s with Mom. I couldn’t exactly leave him alone.”

“Did he even know dad?” Five questions as the two walk up the stairs.

“No,” Vanya discloses. “He never had the chance, but he’s still family. Even a six-year-old can understand that.”

They end up finding the two in the laundry room, their mother folding clothes while Fi sits on top of the dryer reading a book.

Grace looks up when they enter, a big smile coming onto her face. “Five, dear, it’s so nice to see you home safe.”

Five inclines his head slightly. “Thanks, Mom. Happy to be back.”

By this point, Fi has noticed their arrival and is looking straight at Five.

“Fi,” Vanya starts. “This is your Uncle Five.” She gestures to Five who sends an awkward little wave Fi’s way.

Fi looks from Five back to Vanya before saying, “I told you he’d come back,” before looking back to the book in his lap.

The two siblings stare at the six-year-old for a second before Five lets out a snort of laughter.

“We really are two peas in a pod,” he chuckles. “Can’t get that level of sass just anywhere.” 

Vanya shakes her head. “You know, this is so not the reunion I expected when you came back.”

“Well, that’s what you get for giving birth to the intellectual clone of your currently older brother.”

Fi looks up at that comment. “Why do you look younger then?”

“Time travel, young man. Time travel.”

...

The memorial went about as well as their childhood. 

Horribly. 

But what doesn’t when it comes to the Hargreeves.

It had started out alright with everyone gathered in the courtyard. Luther had attempted to scatter their father’s ashes, although they all basically fell in one big clump on the ground. Would have been better with some wind, he’d said. 

Probably not, but no one corrected him.

Pogo then said a few words since no one else seemed to want to. It was mostly about how he owed his life to Reginald, he was created by him after all. When he got to the part about the legacy he left behind, well, that was where it went downhill. 

Diego said what everyone, minus maybe Grace and Luther, was thinking. That he was a monster and a horrible father and the world was better off without him. He kept on for a bit before he and Luther started to get into it.

A fight broke out between the two, of course.

The other siblings, besides Klaus, tried to break up the fight by yelling at the two because there was no way were they going to get in between their two brothers.

The worst part was probably when Ben’s statue, placed in the courtyard as his memorial, was knocked down as a result of Diego dodging one of Luther’s punches. 

That was the last straw for Diego, who had pulled out one of his knives and thrown it at Luther. It cut through his coat and had him running for the door.

By this point, Allison and Five had already gone inside, having had enough of their idiotic behavior.

Diego had walked over to Vanya, asking if she had enough material for her sequel yet. A bit of an asshole move on his part. At that Vanya went inside, Fi at her side, and having said nothing during the whole ordeal, asked, “Is that how they always are?”

Currently, Vanya was waiting in the foyer for a cab because she couldn’t spend another second at this shitshow. Fi was leaning heavily on her leg, clearly tired from the day's events.

Vanya turns, hearing the telltale clack of Pogo’s cane on the floor. “Don’t even bother, Diego was right. I shouldn’t have come.”

Pogo shakes his head. “This is your home, too. Both of you,” he says, motioning to Fi as well as her. “Would you like me to call you a taxi?”

Vanya smiles at the sentiment. “No, I already called one, but thanks.”

Outside, there’s a honk, indicating the arrival of the cab. 

“That’ll be us,” Vanya remarks.

“I hope you know, your father loved you very much,” Pogo adds as they turn towards the door. “In his own way.”

“Yeah, that was kind of the problem,” Vanya responds. “Take care of yourself.”

“You as well, Miss Vanya.”

Before exiting, Fi aims a small wave at Pogo, which he returns in kind.

As they get into the taxi, Vanya looks back at the mansion wondering what the next day will bring for the Umbrella Academy now that their father is gone and their missing brother has returned.

She’d find out soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Five loves his mini-me.

**Author's Note:**

> Is it weird to name your child Five? Yeah, probably.


End file.
